How To Tell The Sex Of A Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'Hunting Flies' he responded.

'Oh.! Killed any?', she asked.

'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females', he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, 'How can you tell them apart'?

He responded : 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

Some Snippets To Ponder Over

TRUE LOVE

True love is like a pillow. You could HUG it when you are in trouble. You could CRY on it when you are in pain. You could EMBRACE it when you are happy!
Want True Love?.......Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW

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DICTIONERY

Dictionary is the only place where death comes before life, success before work and divorce before marriage. But the best part is Friend comes before Relatives!

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THREE DREAMS OF A MAN

To be as handsome as his mother thinks....

To be as rich as his child believes....

To have as many women as his wife suspects!

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FRIENDSHIP

Medicines and friendship cure our problems. The only difference is that, Friendship don't have an expiry date.

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Money Has No Memory. Experience Has…

You will never know what the total cost of your education was, but for a lifetime you will recall and relive the memories of schools and colleges.

Few years from now, you will forget the amount you paid to settle the hospitalization bill, but will ever cherish having saved your mother's life or the life you get to live with the just born.

You won't remember the cost of your honeymoon, but to the last breath remember the experiences of the bliss of togetherness. Money has no memory. Experience has.

Good times and bad times, times of prosperity and times of poverty, times when the future looked so secure and times when you didn't know from where the tomorrow will come... life has been in one way or the other a roller-coaster ride for everyone. Beyond all that abundance and beyond all that deprivation, what remains is the memory of experiences.

Sometimes the wallet was full... sometimes even the pocket was empty. There was enough and you still had reasons to frown. There wasn't enough and you still had reasons to smile. Today, you can look back with tears of gratitude for all the times you had laughed together, and also look back with a smile at all the times you cried alone.

All in all, life filled you with experiences to create a history of your own self, and you alone can remember them all. The first time you balanced yourself on your cycle without support... The first time she said 'yes' and it was two years since you proposed... The first cry... the first steps... the first word... the first kiss... all of your child... The first gift you bought for your parents and the first gift your daughter gave you... The first award... the first public appreciation... the first stage performance... And the list is endless... Experiences, with timeless memory... No denying that anything that's material cost money, but the fact remains the cost of the experience will be forgotten, but the experience never.

So, what if it's economic recession? Let it be, but let there not be a recession to the quality of your life. You can still take your parents, if not on a pilgrimage, at least to the local temple. You can still play with your children, if not on an international holiday, at least in the local park. It doesn't cost money to lie down or to take a loved one onto your lap. Nice time to train the employees, create leadership availability and be ready for the wonderful times when they arrive. Hey! Aspects like your health, knowledge development and spiritual growth are not economy dependent. Time will pass... economy will revive... currency will soon be in current... and in all this; I don't want you to look back and realize you did nothing but stayed in gloom. Recession can make you lose out on money. Let it not make you lose out on experiences...

If you are not happy with what you have, no matter how much more you have, you will still not be happy.

Make a statement with the way you live your life: How I feel has nothing to do with how much I have.

Some humorus sign ads

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:

Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room:

Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board:

Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:

Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off .

Sign In A Bar:

"Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School:

If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit:

We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan:

Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant:

All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:

Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother!