Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where are you going?
Man: I'm going to listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking..
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?
Man: My wife...
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Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a NewBusiness? Student: Father-in-Law
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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. You are beautiful, I love you.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. You are my headache, one day I'll kill you.
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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What's the biggest pressure for Pakistan captain when Pakistan needs 1 run to win in 8 overs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
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Beggar: Saab, twelve rupees do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee toh six rupees ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi toh hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi girl friend banali.
Beggar: Na saab, girl friend ne Bhikari bana diya!
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Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
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Whats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife you are complete otherwise you are finished.
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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage - slow and sure!
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Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
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Two men are talking.
1st man: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd man: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
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Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Man: I'm going to listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking..
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?
Man: My wife...
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a NewBusiness? Student: Father-in-Law
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. You are beautiful, I love you.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. You are my headache, one day I'll kill you.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
What's the biggest pressure for Pakistan captain when Pakistan needs 1 run to win in 8 overs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Beggar: Saab, twelve rupees do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee toh six rupees ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi toh hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi girl friend banali.
Beggar: Na saab, girl friend ne Bhikari bana diya!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Whats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife you are complete otherwise you are finished.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage - slow and sure!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Two men are talking.
1st man: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd man: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
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