Husbands Targeted Again?

Position of a husband is just like a Split AC
No matter however loud he is in the Outdoor
He is designed to remain Silent Indoor...

Husband is one who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes.

A man in hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to Hell is Free.

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means - Without Information Fighting Every time!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one every day.

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to
marry me.

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely push...!

LA LOO JOKES

* What do they call French Toilet in Bihar?
  La loo

* Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the
  security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" 
  and moved on...

* Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and
Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them
"Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las
Begas...".  The man at the other end replies "One second sir..."
and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

* Laloos family planning policy..
  "Don't have more than two children in one year"

* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
  SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"  
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

* After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a
picture.  To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along
with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the
cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front
page of a newspaper. GUESS   THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"

* Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed
with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us
three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like
Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient,"
he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"

* A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce?"
  "Marriage" replies Laloo.

Foreigner & Spicy Indian Food!

A foreigner had a very spicy Indian food last night.

Next morning he comes out of toilet and says, "Now I know why Indians use water?? Tissues can catch fire!!".

Brad Pitt, Vidya Balan and more....

Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married. After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .....why??
because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)

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rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi........ . ......... ......... ......... ......
sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????
rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahu- mat do

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BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...
why?
Because he became
MAMU LEE!

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santa and banta r discussing---------
santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Banta----- "with me it's the opposite. if i sleep i can't drink coffee."

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One day Ravan went to a disco...........................
aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ...................
kyun???????? ????????? ??
kyun???????? ??????
bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"

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who made Ganesh to Anesh...????
ThinK......
Think......
okay.....
" KAILASH KHER "
tere naam se " G " loon....

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Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????
Think....... ......
Give up??
Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.."

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Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
........
..........
Keep Guessing.... ..
........
........
Chalo yaar....the answer is
"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai

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if a CAT crosses ur way,
when u are going some where,
then what does it mean????????
?????????

?????????

it means that the Cat is also going somewhere.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE BUT NOT THE LEAST

Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"

Socho

Thoda sur Socho
?

Socho Socho....
?
Nahi Aata
Bcoz

Indian wives call their husband "Ag" (Scientific Symbol for Silver)
American wives call their husband "Au" (Scientific Symbol for Gold....)

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It's All About Wives

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

***********************************************************************
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

************************************************************************
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied, "In the lake."

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

************************************************************************
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.

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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

DOCTOR! Marvelous answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage," Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one... So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....

---

---

---

---

---

Doctor said : " Try to do it when the Engine is RUNNING "

Pink Curtains

A Blonde enters a store that sells curtains.

She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains.

He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, "Fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"

The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "But Miss, computers do not need curtains!"

The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo ... I've got Windoooooows!".....

Have A Blast

Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where are you going?
Man: I'm going to listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking..
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?
Man: My wife...
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a NewBusiness? Student: Father-in-Law
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. You are beautiful, I love you.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. You are my headache, one day I'll kill you.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
What's the biggest pressure for Pakistan captain when Pakistan needs 1 run to win in 8 overs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Beggar: Saab, twelve rupees do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee toh six rupees ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi toh hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi girl friend banali.
Beggar: Na saab, girl friend ne Bhikari bana diya!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Whats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife you are complete otherwise you are finished.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage - slow and sure!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Two men are talking.
1st man: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd man: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?

Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
--- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Your Eyes Are Sure To Pain

Meaning of "AG"

Yeh biwiyan apne pati ko "A.G." kyon kehti hain?

Kyonki biwiyan sanskari hoti hain aur sabke saamne "Abey Gadhe" nahin keh sakti. Isliye, short form main bulati hain "A.G."!

Friendship v/s Love

Chanakya's Quotes - Worth Learning

"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first.."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC 75 BC)

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"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no Friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)

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"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

"Whores don't live in company of poor men, citizens never support a weak company and birds don't build nests on a tree that doesn't bear fruits."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

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"Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them.. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

"Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

Sardar Strikes Again

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?

Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status.

Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled. Why? When asked him, he said, "Oye, that's for those who dont know swimming.

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.

He writes a love letter to the Nurse: I Love U sister...

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..

Friend: How do u know?Sardar: I told I love her, but she said her chappals are new.

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?

Teacher: Me? No, why?

Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call.

Judge: Don't you have shame?! It is the 3rd time you are coming to court.

Sardar to judge: You are coming daily, don't you have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?

Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.

Manager: Do U know MS Office?

Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "

Air hostess said: Be silent.

Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"

Sardarji replied: "I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key.

Doctor: When? Sardar: 3 Months Ago.

Dr: What were you doing till now?

Sardar: We were using duplicate key.

Dr: So why did you come today?

Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!

Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....

Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?

Sardar: idiot, tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st patient's eyes, tongue & ears with a torch & finally sid: "Oye, torch is okay".

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"

Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!!

How Technology Changed Our World

How To Tell The Sex Of A Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'Hunting Flies' he responded.

'Oh.! Killed any?', she asked.

'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females', he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, 'How can you tell them apart'?

He responded : 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

Some Snippets To Ponder Over

TRUE LOVE

True love is like a pillow. You could HUG it when you are in trouble. You could CRY on it when you are in pain. You could EMBRACE it when you are happy!
Want True Love?.......Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW

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DICTIONERY

Dictionary is the only place where death comes before life, success before work and divorce before marriage. But the best part is Friend comes before Relatives!

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THREE DREAMS OF A MAN

To be as handsome as his mother thinks....

To be as rich as his child believes....

To have as many women as his wife suspects!

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FRIENDSHIP

Medicines and friendship cure our problems. The only difference is that, Friendship don't have an expiry date.

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Money Has No Memory. Experience Has…

You will never know what the total cost of your education was, but for a lifetime you will recall and relive the memories of schools and colleges.

Few years from now, you will forget the amount you paid to settle the hospitalization bill, but will ever cherish having saved your mother's life or the life you get to live with the just born.

You won't remember the cost of your honeymoon, but to the last breath remember the experiences of the bliss of togetherness. Money has no memory. Experience has.

Good times and bad times, times of prosperity and times of poverty, times when the future looked so secure and times when you didn't know from where the tomorrow will come... life has been in one way or the other a roller-coaster ride for everyone. Beyond all that abundance and beyond all that deprivation, what remains is the memory of experiences.

Sometimes the wallet was full... sometimes even the pocket was empty. There was enough and you still had reasons to frown. There wasn't enough and you still had reasons to smile. Today, you can look back with tears of gratitude for all the times you had laughed together, and also look back with a smile at all the times you cried alone.

All in all, life filled you with experiences to create a history of your own self, and you alone can remember them all. The first time you balanced yourself on your cycle without support... The first time she said 'yes' and it was two years since you proposed... The first cry... the first steps... the first word... the first kiss... all of your child... The first gift you bought for your parents and the first gift your daughter gave you... The first award... the first public appreciation... the first stage performance... And the list is endless... Experiences, with timeless memory... No denying that anything that's material cost money, but the fact remains the cost of the experience will be forgotten, but the experience never.

So, what if it's economic recession? Let it be, but let there not be a recession to the quality of your life. You can still take your parents, if not on a pilgrimage, at least to the local temple. You can still play with your children, if not on an international holiday, at least in the local park. It doesn't cost money to lie down or to take a loved one onto your lap. Nice time to train the employees, create leadership availability and be ready for the wonderful times when they arrive. Hey! Aspects like your health, knowledge development and spiritual growth are not economy dependent. Time will pass... economy will revive... currency will soon be in current... and in all this; I don't want you to look back and realize you did nothing but stayed in gloom. Recession can make you lose out on money. Let it not make you lose out on experiences...

If you are not happy with what you have, no matter how much more you have, you will still not be happy.

Make a statement with the way you live your life: How I feel has nothing to do with how much I have.

Some humorus sign ads

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:

Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room:

Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board:

Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:

Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off .

Sign In A Bar:

"Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School:

If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit:

We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan:

Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant:

All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:

Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother!

Indian Hell

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria... "

If Bollywood Filmstars Work For Call Centers.....

Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care hain...
Customer: (angrily) I need your manager..

Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga.

Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..

Customer: I need help

Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa.......

Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and worthless Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..

Customer: What!!! I need your manager

Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna

Shatru: Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai...

Customer: How dare you speak like that

Shatru: Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai warna... haaaaaaaaa!!!

Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya

Customer: I lost my invoice

Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep hain..haahhaaa

Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....

Customer: hi

Kestu Mukherji: iiiihhhyeee tumko ....tumko kya problem hai

Customer: I have not received my product

Kestu Mukherji: To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police mien report likha...

Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera... pyar se log shabbo bolte hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.

Customer: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling aaauuuuu

Customer: I need your manager

Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyarasa...rep hooon..

Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi ... thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo

Customer : I am not devi

Mehmood : Ayyo muruga... ye dyevi nai ji ... ye to dyeva hai...

Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai..... May I know your name please

Customer: Mona

Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya

Customer: (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER

Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager de denge to hamein manage kaun karega....

Gabbar: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye

Customer: I want to buy a product from your company

Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re

Customer: $ 10.00

Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho ... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai

Prem Chopra: Prem...Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra...

Customer : I lost my invoice I need one

Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice khud dhoondle

Rajkumar: Jaani ..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna Customer: I lost my invoice

Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi

Customer: shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager

Rajkumar: Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko darasake manager mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager... manager se hum nahi...

And at last ..................

Sarukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Customer hung up the phone....

Me And My Boss

When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow.

When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don't do it, I am lazy.

When my boss does not do it, he is busy.

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.

When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative.

When I please my boss, I am apple polishing.

When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.

When I make a mistake, you're an idiot.

When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wandering around.

When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.

When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview

When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

When I do good, my boss never remembers.

When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Just Three Things In Life....Remember!

Three Things In Life That, Once Gone, Never Come Back..

Time

Words

Opportunity

Three Things In Life That May Never Be Lost..

Peace

Hope

Honesty

Three Things In Life That Are Most Valuable ..

Love

Self-confidence

Friends

Three Things In Life That Are Never Certain ..

Dreams

Success

Fortune

Three Things That Make A Man/Woman ..

Hard work

Sincerity

Commitment

Three Things In Life That Can Destroy A Man/Woman..

Alcohol

Pride

Anger

Poor Men

# 1 # When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?
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# 2 #
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
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# 3 #
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die".
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
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# 4 #
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life". Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor groom...